Do It Myself (DIM)

I thought about creating a “do it yourself” (DIY) category. Then it occurred to me that the things I do myself aren’t actually things you should do yourself. Repeating my antics is likely to cause bodily harm, divorce, disfigurement, ostracism, freak accidents, fire, mechanical breakdown, uninsurability, bankruptcy, and death, all at the same time. Then your heirs might sue me and claim that I encouraged you.

What do I mean by freak accidents? I’m thinking of the time I almost electrocuted myself while holding a lit oxyacetylene torch inside our house. To my parents and my insurance company: I’m much wiser now.

Bankruptcy? How about the time I set out to replace my clutch and ended up lighting the car on fire, breaking the windshield, and spending as much money as it would have cost to hire a real mechanic who doesn’t light cars on fire or break windshields?

I hereby discourage you from actually trying any of this stuff. Hopefully you’ll think it’s entertaining to read about, though.

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